Rebuilding, Healing, and Thriving on My Own
Five Years
That’s how long I’ve been single. Five years of learning, unlearning, breaking down, and rebuilding myself from the ground up. It wasn’t easy. In fact, at times, it was fucking brutal. There were moments when I thought my intrusive thoughts would consume me whole—when I truly believed I couldn’t be happy without a partner, when the loneliness was deafening, when anxiety had me in a chokehold.
But here I am, still standing. Not just standing—thriving.
I’ve learned that happiness doesn’t come from someone else completing me. It comes from within, from embracing the messiness of healing, from rewriting the story I used to tell myself. Turns out, I can live a happy life without a partner. And, honestly? I love it.
The Hardest Lessons in Healing
The past five years have been a rollercoaster of self-discovery. I’ve gone from feeling completely unworthy of love and success to fully stepping into my power. But let’s be real—growth is ugly before it’s beautiful.
Anxiety Almost Took Me Out
Anxiety wasn’t just a passing worry; it was a constant state of survival. I took stress leave from work, went back to therapy, changed medications, and still felt like I was drowning. The fear of failure, the regret, the overthinking—it all ran in an exhausting loop in my brain.
For two months, I barely left my house. I was terrified to run into people I used to work with, scared of being asked about my life, afraid of telling the truth. Depression hit hard. Some days, I couldn’t even shower. I’d hold my bladder for hours because getting out of bed felt like an impossible task. My body was in full survival mode, screaming at me that something had to change.
Society’s Expectations Were Suffocating
For years, I believed my worth was tied to having a partner. The idea of being single in my late 20s or early 30s felt like a failure. Everywhere I looked, people were settling down, getting married, having babies. I felt behind, like I had missed some invisible deadline.
But as I started focusing on my own journey, I realized how deeply ingrained these societal pressures were. I had to unlearn the belief that being in a relationship was the only path to fulfillment. The truth? There’s nothing more freeing than living life on your terms.
Loneliness Doesn’t Mean You’re Broken
Yes, there are lonely nights. There are moments when I crave the comfort of a partner, someone to share the little things with. But I also know that being alone isn’t the same as being lonely. Learning to enjoy my own company has been one of the greatest gifts of this journey.
The Beauty of Mindful, Independent Living
After hitting rock bottom, I slowly started rebuilding. And in doing so, I discovered a version of myself I never knew existed—one who is stronger, more resilient, and deeply in love with life.
I Take Myself on Dates Now
A few years ago, the thought of going to a movie alone terrified me. Now? I love it. I take myself out to dinner, go for solo hikes, sit in coffee shops with a book and no distractions. These moments have taught me that I am enough on my own.
I Prioritize Self-Care Like My Life Depends on It (Because It Does)
Healing required me to build a mindful lifestyle from scratch. My self-care strategies for mental health became non-negotiable:
- Daily movement – Even if it’s just a walk. Movement shifts my energy.
- Morning rituals – Meditation, journaling, and deep breathing to ground myself.
- Boundaries – I stopped saying yes to things that drained me.
- Therapy & medication – Because mental health isn’t something you just tough out.
I Focus on My Own Timeline
Instead of obsessing over where I “should” be, I focus on where I am. Growth isn’t linear. Some years are about healing. Others are about thriving. And both are valuable.
What’s Next?
Am I completely healed? No. Healing isn’t a finish line—it’s an ongoing process. There are still days when I struggle, when I long for a partner to share my life with. But I also know that the version of me who does enter a relationship one day will be whole, fulfilled, and deeply in love with herself first.
For now, I’ll keep embracing the freedom, the beauty, and the growth that comes in between.
Because if the last five years have taught me anything, it’s this: I am worthy of a happy, successful life—partner or not.
Mindful Living Tips for Women Navigating Healing & Growth
1. Take yourself on dates – Get comfortable being in your own presence.
2. Build a wellness routine that works for you – Prioritize self-care, movement, and rest.
3. Challenge societal expectations – Your life is unfolding on your timeline.
4. Seek support when needed – Therapy, community, and self-compassion are key.
5. Trust the process – Growth is uncomfortable, but it’s always worth it.
So, here’s to the next chapter—whatever it may bring. And here’s to every woman learning to stand on her own, heal at her own pace, and redefine what happiness looks like on her terms.
xo B
